Tuesday, May 27, 2008

A Can of Peas

There have been times in my life over the last 14 years when God has chosen to hide Himself from me; sometimes for long periods of time. Early on in my conversion was like living a dream. I was on fire for the Lord and wanted to learn everything that I possibly could about the faith I had neglected for so long. So, in an effort to catch up I read everything I could get my hands on. I made many a blunder in my early enthusiasm to tell everyone how great it was to know the Lord. Nevertheless, I continued on for a while growing in knowledge and faith.

And then, the Lord began to show me what it was like to not feel His presence so acutely. It was just a little, at first, and for short periods of time, but I was devastated because I didn't know what was happening or what I was supposed to do about it. During one of these times, I remember being in the grocery store feeling very sorry for myself because I felt so lost and alone (in my spiritual life, not in the grocery store:) when God took the tiniest moment to let me know that He was still with me, even though I could not grasp His presence. We have a dish that we eat that my husband has affectionately dubbed Tuna Soup (most people call it tuna casserole). The only way that we can remotely enjoy it is if I put a can of peas into it, but usually I would end up forgetting to buy the peas and then we would have to suffer through it without them. So, back in the grocery store I was walking down the vegetable aisle trying to remember what it was that I had wanted to buy when a young girl walked up to her mother who was right in front of me. She asked her mother, "Mom, what are you doing? Oh yeah, that's right, I forgot you don't like to eat your tuna casserole without peas." With that she promptly left the aisle. Her mother never even looked up or said a word, just kept right on taking cans off of the shelf. I grabbed my can of peas and burst into tears (discretely of course!) I left that store knowing that even though I felt that God had abandoned me, He was still there looking out for me.

I am still grateful for that little incident because whenever it gets really tough and it seems as if God has finally had enough of me and has left me for good, I think back on that can of peas and remind myself that He really does still care about even the smallest of my desires. I mean, really, if He took the time to remind me to buy a can of peas so that we could enjoy one dinner out of thousands, then why should I worry about whether He'll take care of everything else? Probably because I am a sinner and have to keep being reminded over and over again.

God Bless!


  1. Laura, God bless you for being so willing to share these intimate moments. I, too, find these little gifts (ie pea story) from the Lord, which aren't little at all, give me such joy and strength and perseverance. I love it when Ramona says, "God is good...all the time." Everytime something like this happens to me, I feel so very undeserving. God cares about even the details of our life. Of course, I always thank our Guardian Angels, too. Much love and prayer to you today, Dolores H

  2. Thank you for this post, it's hitting a very timley note for me.