It's been a rough week - many things going on requiring a lot of brain power, thus making me exhausted. What better way to revive one's spirits than by laughing and what better things to laugh at than the things going on in your own household. Thus, the next couple of Quick Takes will deal with that.
Awhile ago I posted this on Facebook:
Since we are to avoid the near occasions of sin, I've decided to stop trying to teach my children math!
My friend posted this reply:
Courage! Fortitude! Remember, you are the heart of your home, your husband is the head. Math is a head thing...so tell them to go ask their father!
My Mass experience from Monday - the Feast of All Souls - one of my favorite feast days, mind you.
*Leave house late and pull up at church right when Mass is starting but realize that there are no other cars there.
*Send daughter to ask a workman if the Mass was moved across town to the Parish Center. Yes.
*Drive across town while trying to stay within the legally posted speed limit. Park car and fly into the building while Mr. 4 yo says, "I have to go to the bathroom". I say, "No you don't, you just went right before we left. You can wait."
*Get into the building to realize, on top of being late, that it is a Communion service. At which point Mr 4 yo is insisting he has to go. Me: "I don't know where the bathroom is and by the time we find it, we'll have missed everything. You can wait."
*Mr 4 yo proves that he can't wait. I feel like a jerk and then realize that I will still miss what is left of the Communion service because I have to find the bathroom, get towels and clean up the mess.
Conversation on the way out of Mass that morning:
Mr 4 yo: "Why didn't you take me to the bathroom? You should have taken me to the bathroom."
Me: "I didn't know where it was!"
Mr 4 yo: "We walked right past it."
Me: "I didn't see it on the way in."
Mr 4 yo: "You should have turned your head."
In the car the next day, we drove past one of those emergency sirens that was being tested, so I naturally had to explain what it is, why it is so loud, and what it is used for. In our neck of the woods, tornadoes are a frequent use for these sirens, so we had some discussion about that. Mr 4 yo then tells us that he is going to take his radio-controlled tornado and send it over to the building over there and run it right through the building. Ms 6 yo, intrigued by the thought of a radio-controlled tornado, asks, "Is it a plastic tornado?" Mr 4 yo responds in his 4 yo matter-of-fact-I-can't-believe-you're-asking-me-this voice "No, of course not, it's wind..."
6.The speedometer on our van has decided to become temperamental. For about the first 1/2 hour of driving, it either registers 0 mph or 75 mph and not much else. I personally don't like driving a car when things are not functioning the way they are supposed to, but because this is the only car that fits us all, there are times when I must. My husband, who really means to fix this but because he only drives the van to church on Sunday and then doesn't think about it the rest of the week, hasn't had the time to do it yet. After complaining about having to drive without knowing how fast I am going, my husband gave me this sage advice, "Drive it by feel." WHAT? "Drive it by how fast it feels like you are going." "So," I said, "When I get pulled over for speeding I should tell the officer that I really didn't know how fast I was going, but it FELT like I was doing the speed limit?" At which point I would hand over my husband's cell phone number.
I've written before about the surprise spiders I've found amongst my mail (unfortunately I can't find the post now) and how I usually scream and practically jump out of the car in my panic. The other day we pulled up to the mail box and it was COVERED in small black spiders. At least they were all over the outside and not all hidden inbetween the mail waiting to attack me in the car. "What do I do now?" I wondered out loud. "How will we ever get the mail out?" I settled on taking a paper bag and bunching it up and beating them all to death so that I could quickly pull the door down, get the mail out, slam the door shut and hurry up and shut the car window before they all blew in and attacked me in the car.
When we were pulling into the driveway, we noticed that the garbage can that was still out at the street was also covered with these small black spiders. Not even that, they were all over the house and the garage door, too. We even found some in the house. I must say that I never remember this happening before! UUUGGGHH.