I had been trying to figure out how to balance being a wife, a mom, a homeschooler, a photographer, a soap seller, a website hostess and a blog writer. Too much, I wondered???
I had a chat with one of the priests on retreat and his main statement was that, as long as you are keeping up your prayer life and your daily duty to your family, then you can add in whatever you want. The guide is always to look to see if your prayers or your family are suffering in any way by you being too busy.
I did my assessment and found that things were pretty much in order. Even with that being said, I still wasn't sure if I was doing too much. During one of the talks, Father said three words that completely changed my perspective: St. Gianna Molla.
If it hadn't been a silent retreat, I would have stood up and shouted for joy. That name completely changed the way I was looking at my life.
I knew a bit about St. Gianna; I knew that she gave her life up for the sake of her unborn child. I also knew that she was a devoted wife, mother, doctor and that she loved the outdoors, decorating and fashion. She was one well-rounded, very busy lady...AND SHE IS A SAINT.
What I needed to know was WHY she is a saint. Like I said, I know she gave her life up for her unborn child, but I knew there had to be more. I got my hands on a book about her life and I read it during breaks. What I discovered were two important things:
1. Those living with her didn't think she was anything extraordinary. Her husband said that he really didn't ever feel like he was living with a saint. I like that thought. It makes her feel much more accessible.
2. The key to her holiness is that everything she did, she did with love. Love for God and love for the other person.
What hit me that day was that it isn't necessarily how much you are doing, what matters most is HOW you are doing it. You could be doing very little or you could be doing a lot, but if there isn't love in your heart and in your attitude, then it is of little benefit. Sometimes we get so caught up in what we are doing that we forget to focus on how we are doing it. I know that when I have a busy day, it isn't until the end of the day that I'll stop and think about what my attitude was like.
This saint never stopped doing. What made her a saint, however, was that when she was doing something, she was present to that particular job at that particular moment and she did it all with love.
Well, at least now I don't have to fret about how much I am trying to do. I only have to focus on doing everything with the love of God and with love for the person(s) involved. Not too tall of an order, is it???