The Second Station

Jesus Takes Up His Cross

Outside the city, to the northwest of Jerusalem, there is a little hill: Golgotha is its name in Aramaic; lcus Calvariae, in Latin:  the place of skulls, or Calvary.

Offering no resistance, Jesus gives himself up to the execution of the sentence.  He is to be spared nothing, and upon his shoulders falls the weight of the ignominious cross.  But, through love, the cross is to become the throne from which he reigns.

The people of Jerusalem and those from abroad who have come for the Passover push their way through the city streets, to catch a passing glimpse of Jesus of Nazareth, the King of the Jews.  There is a tumult of voices, and, now and then, short silences - perhaps when Jesus fixes his eyes on someone:

 

If anyone wishes to come after me, let him take up his cross daily and follow me (Mt 16:24)

How lovingly Jesus embraces the wood which is to bring him to death.

 

Is it not true that as soon as you cease to be afraid of the cross, of what people call the cross, when you set your will to accept the will of God, then you find happiness, and all your worries, all your sufferings, physical or moral, pass away?

Truly the cross of Jesus is gentle and lovable.  There, sorrows cease to count; there is only the joy of knowing that we are co-redeemers with him.

 

All photos in this series are under copyright and are property of Laura Dominick and Dominick Photography.  The text is from the Stations of the Cross in the Daily Roman Missal, originally  by St. Josemaria Escriva.

Getting Started

How does this picture make you feel?  Jittery? Stressed? Relieved that it isn't you?

I hope it isn't indicative of what your days look like, but if it is, then I think now would be a good time to change that. 

Do you have a plan for your day or does it just run amok?  Have you considered trying to plan out your day?  You probably have thought about organizing your cabinets or your closet, why not your day?

It really is the same concept isn't it?  You get rid of the items you don't need from your cabinets and your closet and then you take all of the stuff you've kept and you organize it so it doesn't fall out when you open the door.

Let's apply the same logic to your day.  When you open your eyes, get out of bed and walk through your bedroom door, you really don't want things "falling" on you, do you?  You'd like to walk into your day knowing that it is going to be as organized as it can be.  You've removed the things that take up space, like time wasters and things you don't really need to be involved in, and you've organized what you have left to do.

Now, if something should come into your day and upset it, then it will be easy to put yourself back on track and pick up where you left off.  That is the thing I like best about having my day planned out.  No day is ever really going to go exactly like you planned it, but when it does go awry, you can re-balance yourself, figure out where you should be in your day and get back on track.

Having a plan for your day doesn't mean having every minute scheduled and being stuck in that rigid plan.  It means having a nice outline for how things should go, when they should happen and who should be doing them.  It's like the backbone for your day, not the straightjacket.   

If you've thought in the past that you could never work with having your day all planned out, I'd like you to think differently about that; at least for a little while.  I'd like to have you spend some time thinking about this plan as an organizational tool.  Something that can set your feet going in the right direction each day and then put them back on track when they need it.

Over the course of the next few weeks, let's walk this path of organization together.  Each Monday I'll give you some areas to think about and then help get you started on the next chapter in my book, "A Plan for Joy in the Home:  A Workbook on Organizing Your Day for Homeschooling Mothers".  Hopefully it will be the impetus you need to get yourself, and your day, more organized.  For now, just work on getting started.

 



This lovely drawing is under copyright.  Please respect that and do not copy it or use it elsewhere.

7 Quick Takes February 24, 2012

--- 1 ---

I mentioned last week that I was going on a silent retreat with two of my daughters.  Well, we went and it was worth it!  Boy do I look forward to these retreats every year.  I was a bit more distracted than usual this time because I have this incredibly annoying cough that I was trying to stifle the whole time.  Do you know how hard it is to NOT cough?  Very distracting.  On top of that, I sprained my ankle about an hour before the retreat started, so I had that pain to deal with, too.  It is also somewhat distracting to have my daughters there because since I am their mother, try as I might, it is hard not to think about them and how it is going for them.  Despite the distractions, it is always incredible to communicate so intimately with God.  If you've never done an Ignatian retreat, I'd highly recommend it!
 

--- 2 ---

It was really nice to do this retreat right before Lent, too.  Not only was I thinking of resolutions for the coming year, I was trying to discern my Lent.  It was a nice, peaceful environment in which to do it, and for that I am grateful.

--- 3 ---

Well it's a few days into Lent and so far there hasn't been too much rebellion over all of the food items we've given up.  Except, of course, from Mr 6 yo.  I haven't imposed too much on him, but I refuse to make two different dinners, so he's had to make a few compromises. I'm grateful to be able to use Lent for the excuse to eat better and change so many things.  It works to keep me in line and it makes me not give in to some of the groans.

--- 4 ---

Snack time in our house usually means grabbing something pre-made, quick and only mildly good for you; like a granola bar or a bagel or something.  Well today's healthy snack was a hit.  The kids even scored points for presentation. 

Now all I have to do is not use up 2/3 of a jar of peanut butter for one snack.  That good stuff is a bit pricey.  It is very frustrating that it costs more to eat healthy than unhealthy!

 --- 5 ---

 
During Lent I am going to be posting a few ongoing items.  On Tuesdays and Thursdays I am going to be posting the various Stations of the Cross with pictures from our past performances and text by St. Josemaria Escriva.  I hope you'll join me in praying the stations.  On each Monday of Lent I will be discussing a different chapter of my book "A Plan for Joy in the Home".  I'm not sure exactly what format it will be taking yet, so stop by this coming Monday to find out :)

--- 6 ---

Earlier this week Mr 6 yo and I were doing a reading lesson and I pointed to the word on the page that he needed to read:  is.  "Oh this is a funny word," I said to him.  He looked at the word to read and replied, "clown?"  He never ceases to keep us laughing!

--- 7 ---

We're steaming right along with our production of "The Seven Last Words of Christ".  As with anything of this magnitude, there are issues and problems and annoyances and stresses and...so any prayers you would be able to say for all of those working so hard to get this produced and sound so beautiful, as well as sell-out three shows, would be greatly appreciated. 

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

The First Station

Jesus is Condemned to Death

It is after ten in the morning.  The trial is moving to its close.  There has been no conclusive evidence.

  

 

The judge knows that his enemies have handed Jesus over to him out of envy and he tries an absurd move:  a choice between Barabbas, a criminal accused of robbery and murder, and Jesus, who says he is Christ. 

The people choose Barabbas, and Pilate exclaims, "What am I to do, then, with Jesus?"  

They all reply, "Crucify him!"

The judge insists, "Why what evil has he done?"

Once again they respond shouting, "Crucify him! Crucify him!"  Pilate is frightened by the growing uproar. 

So he sends for water and washes his hands in the sight of the people, saying as he does so, "I am innocent of the blood of this just man; it is your affair."

 

And having had Jesus scourged, he hands him over to them to be crucified.  Their frenzied and possessed throats fall silent, as if God had already been vanquished.

Jesus is all alone.  Far off now are the days when the words of the Man-God brought light and hope to men's hearts, those long processions of sick people whom He healed, the triumphant acclaim of Jerusalem when the Lord arrived, riding on a gentle donkey.  If only men had wanted to give a different outlet for God's love!  If only you and I had recognized the day of the Lord!

All photos in this series are under copyright and are property of Laura Dominick and Dominick Photography.  The text is from the Stations of the Cross in the Daily Roman Missal, originally  by St. Josemaria Escriva.

 

Wordless Ash Wednesday

Happy Shrove Tuesday

or Happy Mardi Gras, Fat Tuesday or Paczki Day!!!!!!  One day, numerous names to choose from!

We celebrate this day by coloring our "Alleluias" so that we can hide them away until Easter Sunday. 

There is something very solemn about putting away the Alleluia for Lent then bringing it back out, both on paper and vocally, when Our Lord has Risen from the dead!

Another thing we do is put up our Lenten path so that we can trace our progress as Lent progresses.  It is a nice way to keep track of how long we have left to go.

This wonderful path is courtesy of Catholic Icing.  Go check out her blog for more great Lenten ideas.

Then, of course, we devour our Paczki's.  This year fresh strawberry and strawberry and cheese are the order of the day.  We definitely look forward to this every year!

I have a few ongoing posts planned for Lent so I'll be getting those going very soon. 
 
May your Lent prove to be fruitful for you and your family.

Preparation for Total Consecration according to St. Lousi Marie de Montfort

We've been practicing this devotion for at least the last 10 years and we always begin on the 20th of February.  We like this particular time frame for two reasons:  

1.  It is a wonderful devotion to do as a family during Lent.  We are always guaranteed that at least a portion, if not all, of it will fall during the Lenten season.

2.  Beginning on the 20th allows us to make our Consecration on March 25th, the Feast of the Annunciation.

If you aren't familiar with this devotion, here is a website which will give you the basic information, and even the prayers to pray.  It isn't too late to grab yourself a book and get started.

 

7 Quick Takes February 17, 2012

--- 1 ---

This past week Mr 6 yo and I were reading the Bible story about Cain and Abel.  I was telling him how God, after Cain killed his brother, cursed Cain and told him he would have to wander the earth.  At that point Mr 6 yo piped in, "You know, I'd really like to travel the earth."  My response to him was, "Not if you were cursed!"  He didn't disagree.

--- 2 ---

I'm sitting here typing this up while my Lenten meal plan is scattered about me.  We are going to attempt "clean eating" for Lent.  I think the biggest thing for us will be giving up cheese.  Cheese is pretty much a staple with almost every meal.  You don't like eggs, slap some cheese on it.  Don't like your ham sandwich, put a slice of cheese on there.  Those noodles gettin' ya down, put some cheese on em!  See what I mean?  It might be harder than giving up chocolate! (okay, not really!)

--- 3 ---

If you didn't see it earlier this week, check out this post here to enter the first ever Catholic Bloggers Network Giveaway.  You can enter to win a whole bunch of really nice stuff!  I think you should go now and enter your name and then come right back to finish the Quick Takes.  It's okay, I'll wait. :)

--- 4 ---

Thanks for coming back!  Aren't there some really nice things to win?  

So what else have we done this week, you wonder?  Well, we finished watching the second season of Downton Abbey the other night!  If you haven't seen the finale...it is a good one!  The thought of having to wait until September is agonizing.  I hate it when we finish a series; I always go through withdrawal.

--- 5 ---

I'd like to ask that you please say a prayer for me and my two oldest daughters.  We will be attending the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius this weekend, which is a silent retreat preached by the priests of Miles Christi.  This is Ms 19 yo's second retreat and Ms 17yo's first retreat.  While in one sense it is a very peaceful retreat, on the other hand it can be quite rigorous.  I'm never quite sure what the Lord is going to want to work on while I'm there.  Any prayers would be greatly appreciated.

--- 6 ---

We're kicking it into gear now with practices for "The Seven Last Words of Christ".  While I'll be meditating in front of Our Lord in peace and quiet, my husband will be spending the day on Saturday with everyone else going to practice, then costume fittings then going home in time to feed everyone dinner.  They will be exhausted; I will not be thinking about it :)

--- 7 ---

Ash Wednesday is next week.  It is so hard to believe.  We're in a paczki crisis as our usual source is not coming through this year so we will have to go out in search of them on our own.  My hubby suggested just skipping them, but we all agreed that is out of the question.  At least I have a few days to figure this out.  Have a great weekend!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

The Trials of February

I know that every year at this time I write a post along these same lines.  It has become like a tradition, so therefore I will not stop myself from doing it again this year.

If one can have seasonal affective disorder for just one month then I dare say that is what happens within the confines of this house every year during the month of February.  Cabin fever hits us and turns us all into crabby, not very fun people to be around.

Today, however, was different.  Today is Valentine's Day and I am so glad that it occurs during this month.  Today was a nice respite for all of us: siblings made valentine's for siblings, treats were shared, a united front was made for a nice luncheon and excitement has been brewing over a new dessert we're having after dinner.

What a blessing to have this holiday during one of the drabbest months of the year around our neck of the woods.  Now what we need to do is hold on to this feeling and carry it through until March.  It is funny, but as soon as March hits, things seem to lighten a bit around here.  But then again, by then it will be Lent...

 

Catholic Bloggers Network First Ever Giveaway! Entry Form

So the First Ever Giveaway is live and will be open for the next 2 weeks.  You can either go to the Home Page of the CBN blog and follow the steps to enter for the great prizes, or you can do it right here!  

On the home page there is a picture of all of the wonderful things that are being given away.  In addition to my book, you can have a chance to win some gift cards, clothing items, rosaries and homeschooling books and games.  

Just log in at the bottom of the list below and follow the steps listed in order to enter.  Then...pass the word to friends!  This should be fun.  Good luck!




a Rafflecopter giveaway

Catholic Bloggers Network First Ever Giveaway!

I am proud to say that I am participating in

The First EVER

Catholic Bloggers' Colossal Share-a-Thon (& Giveaway) 

which will begin on Monday, February 13th!  In case you didn't know:

"Saint Padre Pio Catholic Bloggers Network" is a Facebook group for bloggers to communicate and join in on unified initiatives. After the First International Meeting of Bloggers in August, 2011, with Pope Benedict XVI, this unified front was inspired. This group was created for better communication among bloggers and also to create a webpage directory of Catholic bloggers or a web portal of those interested in networking.

With the New Evangelization, "The Church has the duty to announce the Gospel of Jesus Christ always and everywhere." Our motto is: "The greatest charity is to take away souls from Satan and to bring them back to God!" ~ Saint Padre Pio

Together we can make a difference on the world wide web! Let's remind the world, via our presence in Catholic Social Media, that God exists and to educate them about the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church! 

So they've decided to have a wonderful giveaway and I'm going to give away a hard copy of my book "A Plan for Joy in the Home:  A Workbook on Organizing Your Day for Homeschooling Mothers".
 

 
I'm very excited about this opportunity.  From what I've seen it looks like there are going to be some really neat things given away.  Anyone is able to enter, and while I'm not sure of all of the details, you can go to the Home Page of the Network's blog to find out all of the details when they are announced. 

The giveaway will be open for entering for two weeks starting on Monday, so jump on over there and enter for your chance to win some great Catholic stuff!

Moments of Grace

I am doing something different this Friday by linking up at Sucipio for their Friday "Moments of Grace".

This past week I had one of those moments where Heaven touches earth; a pure, peaceful moment that I wish would have lasted a lot longer.  We were at Mass on Wednesday at a church that has adoration.  After Mass the priest exposed the Blessed Sacrament and we all knelt and sang "O Salutaris Hostia"

O SALUTARIS Hostia

Quae caeli pandis ostium.

Bella premunt hostilia;

Da robur, fer auxilium.

Uni trinoque Domino

Sit sempiterna gloria:

Qui vitam sine termino,

Nobis donet in patria.

Amen.

It was at that moment that grace descended upon me and a huge amount of gratitude filled my soul.  Gratitude for all the priests who have taken time to bring us Adoration and to teach us Latin hymns to sing.  For all the priests who have brought other beautiful Latin hymns into the Mass.  There is something supremely beautiful and haunting about a mass of voices singing a hymn in Latin.  I know I said last week that I really enjoy praise and worship songs, but another part of me can't get enough of singing these hymns.


My daughters are part of the choir at our church and the new choir director asked the singers how many of them knew this song in Latin.  I found it surprising, but only my two girls raised their hands.  Thank you, Lord, for giving us the opportunities to be exposed to this kind of beauty.

 

Your Choice in Trials

Wednesday was the feast of St. Josephine Bakhita, a relatively new saint for our times.  Father was telling us in his homily about St. Josephine's wonderful character despite her very difficult and terrifying life.  She was so terrified when she was younger that she forgot the name that her parent's had given her!  

His point was that, even amidst the trials and difficult life that St. Josephine had, she still remained a very kind and compassionate person.  She could have easily turned into a mean and hardened person, but instead she allowed the grace of God, whom she didn't even know about until she was older, to work in her and make her "saint material".

He then told us the story of a British woman and her husband who were missionaries in India.  While there, the woman's husband died, leaving her all alone and upset in a foreign country.  The woman sought the advise of a holy man about what she should do next.

The man took her into his kitchen and showed her a potato and and egg.  He asked her what happens to each of them when they are put in a pot of boiling water.

The woman answered correctly that the egg gets hard and the potato gets soft.  The man then told her that that was the choice she had in this situation.  She could become hardened and embittered by her experience (like the egg) or she could allow it to soften her character so that she became even more compassionate and caring (like the potato).  She knew then that her choice would be to become like the potato, so she stayed in India and continued to minister to the poor. 

What a wonderful lesson and a great reminder for all of us.  We are all going through trials right now; some big, some little.  Whether they are financial or health related or something else, we are being given the opportunity to decide how they will shape us.  Each time we respond to a situation, we are either becoming more like the egg or more like the potato.  What a great visual to carry with me as we forge through some trying times right now.  It is my prayer that I always choose the potato and not the egg!

Reformation

I went to our local Colettine Poor Clare monastery today for Mass to discover that today is the feast day of St. Colette, the young lady who reformed the Poor Clares back in late 1300's - early 1400's.  Father went on to tell us all about St. Colette and her life.  

He pointed out that she, along with all of the other saints who have taken on the reformation of their orders, ran up against much opposition and suffering.  When people don't want to change from their ways, he said, they are likely to rebel against the one who is trying to make them change.

Isn't that true with ourselves and even within our own family?  

He talked about how far we move away from our relationship with God the more we let the world in.  In the case of the religious, it is letting the world into their monasteries.  In our case, it is letting the world take on too much prominence in our homes, lives and even our minds.  

Every now and then I realize that the world has encroached a bit too much into my life and the life of our family.  When that realization hits, it is time to take stock and reform.  When the reformation comes, so does the rebellion.  The children rebel, I rebel.  It is tough for awhile, but then, once the dust settles again and we reinvigorate our relationship with God, we realize how much more peace there is around us.

Once a year I like to really make a reformation of my life by going on a silent retreat. This year, myself and my two eldest daughters will be going to a beautiful church for the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius; a retreat led by the priests of Miles Christi.  This is an excellent way to purge yourself of the world and renew your relationship with God.  If you are open to the movements of the Holy Spirit, this one weekend can bring about a complete reformation of your soul.  Oh how I look forward to this every year.

If you find you are in need of some reforming, some cleaning out of the world from your life and a renewal of your spirit, why not consider a silent retreat?  If you can't find an organized one in your area, you could set aside a day on your own to spend in silence connecting with the Holy Spirit and weeding out all of the worldly things that have been standing in the way of your closeness to God.

Catholic Bloggers Network

I am now a contributor to the new Catholic Bloggers Network.  If you haven't had a chance to visit, please do.  A group of Catholic bloggers from all walks of life are contributing and participating in this endeavor.  

It is really a neat concept there are weekly round ups, content shares, an online Facebook community, a Blog Academy where you can learn neat tips and even a place to link up items you are selling in the Catholic Shoppe.  

Here is the mission of the group:

In acknowledgment of the Vatican's strong interest to embrace social media for evangelization, this Catholic Bloggers Network was created to enhance communication of Catholic social media users. Here Catholic bloggers can connect and share efforts to bring the Catholic faith into the social media discourse. By creating this webpage directory of Catholic bloggers and connecting the online portals they use, our Catholic community grows larger. Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam!

And now a group of bloggers are getting together to have a colossal give away.  So if you are a blogger and want to participate in this, here are the details:


--------------------------


The First EVER

Catholic Bloggers' Colossal Share-a-Thon (&; Giveaway) 

An opportunity for all of our Catholic Bloggers to
share and promote their Catholic products,

receive new followers and discover new Catholic blogs
...and to WIN awesome prizes!

All Catholic Bloggers are invited to participate...
a small entry fees will be collected from Bloggers who want to participate
(and receive new followers) but don't sell Catholic products through their blogs. 

The cash collected will comprise the cash giveaways!

Lots of prizes, lots of chances to win and lots of winners!

Just fill out the form below and hit the 'submit' button...
to be a part of this Rafflecopter

Catholic Bloggers' Colossal Share-a-Thon!

Spread the word. 
The GIVEAWAY will be live for 2 weeks
and ANYONE can enter to WIN!

Enter for a chance to win a hard copy of
"A Plan for Joy in the Home"!

7 Quick Takes February 3, 2012

--- 1 ---

We went to one of our weekday churches on Wednesday morning to meet the new pastor.  They were having coffee and donuts after Mass to welcome him, so of course we stayed.  I was just walking up to him to introduce myself when there was a commotion.  It seems Mr 11 yo knocked over Mr 6 yo's full glass of orange juice...all over the wood table and the carpeting.  Well, needless to say, we made quite an impression.  The priest informed me that we were "marked forever".  Lovely!

--- 2 ---

This Friday evening marks our monthly evening of recollection with the Miles Christi priests.  A peaceful three hours of rosary, Mass, benediction, adoration, confession, two spiritual talks and ending with...snacks!  We look forward to this night every month.

--- 3 ---

Did you realize that it is almost Valentine's Day?  Would you like to get some great smelling soap for your sweetie?  Or maybe you'd like to use some great smelling soap for your sweetie? :)  Go check out our Valentine's Day page at the Goat Milk Soap Shop.  There's still enough time for the soap to arrive before the big day!

--- 4 ---

We just got on DVD, and devoured, the first season of Downton Abbey this past week.  The girls and I just love British TV series.  In a way I like being behind the times with a series because then you can sit down and watch a whole bunch of them at once without having to be strung out in suspense.  Right now, however, we have to catch up with season two by watching them on the internet.  This takes a lot longer and we can only watch one a day or my DH gets upset because we ate up the bandwidth.  Season two episode one coming up!

--- 5 ---

Ms 19 yo also brought another addiction into the house last week when she brought home the book "Matched" by Ally Condie.  I love one of the reviews on the back:  "If you like a ton of romance with your totalitarian government, this novel is for you!"  While I'm sure I don't like the thought of a totalitarian government, the book was a good read and all four of us enjoyed it enough to run to the library to get the next book in the series, "Crossed".  Can't wait to devour that one!

--- 6 ---

The book mentioned above is a lot like "The Hunger Games" so if you liked that book, you will like "Matched", too.  Imho, however, I think "The Hunger Games" is still a better book and we are all very excited for the movie to be coming out next month!

--- 7 ---

We have a relatively low key weekend coming up.  We're going to have our family portrait taken on Sunday for our parish directory.  Looking forward to that!  Have a very blessed weekend.

For more Quick Takes, visit the Quick Takes being hosted by Betty Beguiles this week!

 

The Charismatic Movement

I've been reading Mark Mallett's blog posts about the Charismatic movement with interest lately.  I feel that I have an affinity for all things Charismatic.  This becomes difficult, however, when 1. you don't have much access to it and 2. you live with a bunch of people who have no interest in searching it out.

My husband, children and I have had various discussions over the years with the things I like and they don't like about things Charismatic.  I'm sure you can guess what they are because they're all pretty standard:

- Is this even really part of the Catholic church?
- Where is the reverence?
- Where is the silence?
- What's up with that music??

That is why I've been reading Mark's posts with interest.  I'm glad to see the movement explained and given some validity.  While I was reading the posts by Mark, I was struck by his statements that the sacrament of Confirmation should really be as it was during Pentecost:  meaning that we should expect to receive the Holy Spirit and all of His gifts and fruits and charisms just like the apostles did.  He made mention that when his sister and his daughter were Confirmed, they received the gift of tongues.  While I'm not going to debate about that particular gift, it made me think about how we've approached our Confirmation preparation in this household.


By the time the girls were ready to be Confirmed they all had a lot of book knowledge about the sacrament, but I began to think back to how much spiritual preparation they had...or didn't have.  I believe that the lack of spiritual preparation severely limited their reception of what God wanted to give them.  My eldest daughter said she remembered her Confirmation being a powerful and moving event.  The next two girls, due to an unusual set of circumstances, did not have much spiritual preparation.  Consequently neither of them had any powerful memories of their Confirmation.


Likewise, I was brought up in the Church and was Confirmed at the appropriate age, but I was of the generation that picked a Confirmation name because it sounded good with your given name, not because it signified a Saint that you wanted to emulate.  Therefore, I too do not have any great recollection of my Confirmation being a moving experience.  I remember going out for my first prime rib dinner.  Sad, but true...


Our next daughter is going to be Confirmed this year and I'm taking all of this as a wake-up call, an exciting call, to spend a lot more time spiritually preparing her to receive the Holy Spirit instead of just having the book knowledge.  I even believe that if myself and my other daughters prepare along with her, that we might be able to receive some of what we missed; even from the pew.  I am looking forward to really spending time in prayer leading up to this event and am excited about the possibility of a surge of the Holy Spirit within our household.

What are your thoughts on the Charismatic Movement?


Note: I reread what I wrote in this last paragraph and I'd like to clarify that I know we all received the fullness of the sacrament!  And while I know that a sacrament is valid even if you don't "feel" anything, I believe that by being better prepared spiritually the gifts received during that time would have been better manifested in us.  I hope that better clarifies what I was trying to say.