I have read a lot of good spiritual books in the last 14 years. I have heard many good spiritual talks. Despite all that, I have yet to hear or read anyone discuss how a woman is supposed to retain her holiness while under the influence of her hormones! I suppose it's because many of the talks I've heard are given by priests and they probably don't have a clue about PMS or the like. I just know that there have been many times over the years where I've been yearning for someone to tell me what role hormones play while trying to maintain my state of peace and joy.
For example, can I use them as an excuse for my behavior? I always feel contrite at the end of the day, but in the midst of emotional chaos, I find it hard to reign them in. So, do I have to confess my inability to control my emotions during those few days out of the month? How did the female saints deal with them? Have you ever read the biography of a woman saint that told about what she was like during a PMS day? I haven't. And why is that? I find it hard to believe that they didn't have them, so why is it never mentioned?
Now, before I go any further, I know that diet has a lot to do with how bad or how many PMS days a woman has. I know that my irrational behavior can be controlled to a certain degree with OTC or homeopathic medicines. What I want to know is this:
How HOLY does a woman have to be in order to control her emotions on a PMS day?
Does it require a couple of extra rosaries during those days? Or what about some extra adoration time? How about becoming a hermit? That way you get the extra prayer time and you're not forced to talk to anybody - a great way to lessen the number of offenses against the whole "Love Your Neighbor" thing and therefore, less to confess. The way I figure it, it takes a lot of extra holiness!
The thing I hate the most about PMS is the unpredictability of its appearance. One minute peace, love and joy can be oozing from my pores. The next instant I'm having an out-of-body experience; I don't even recognize myself. This happened to me last week during dinner and I just wanted to scream at my son, "Can I please sit on my own chair, by myself and eat my own dinner? And would you PLEASE stop kissing me and telling me how much you love me!!" (Don't worry, I shoved food in my mouth so the words wouldn't come out!) My husband says he can tell when "it" shows up because it's like a shield that pops up around me and whenever he tries to come near me he bounces back across the room!
Every month this happens and every month I spend a lot of time pondering how to overcome it. I mean, I should be able to do something, shouldn't I? Retreating is not a viable option all the time, so in the face of wanting to scream irrational thoughts at my family, I have to ask myself, "What would a saint do?" Unfortunately for those around me, I have yet to figure out the answer.